Just, Hand it Over

There are certain things I like to do for my family. As in, I like to be the one to do them because I actually can do them and want to show my love in that form.

In a more recent instance, I’m referring to making a birthday cake.

My son’s 2nd birthday is quickly approaching and I had planned out what his birthday cake was going to look and taste like, down to every detail.

Because I discovered I am actually a decent baker a handful of years back, I like to pour my love into these cakes and see the reaction of my loved ones when they see it. It brings me joy.

But sometimes, life/puke/wounds/pee happens. See below.

Saturday night, our toddler, Franklin, got sick. Really sick. As in, throwing up from 9:00 pm until 10:00 am sick. We barely slept the whole night. And I mean that. That was truly my first all-nighter. Never did I pull it off in my childhood during those sleepovers, never did I even attempt it in my college days, (though close) but sure enough, motherhood has gifted me my first all-nighter experience.


I (rightfully-so) took a good portion of Sunday to recover while my husband took over and I was feeling pretty decent that evening until my back-to-normal toddler showed his gratitude for the wonderful care I bestowed upon him by clocking me in the head with a remote.


That ended Sunday.

Monday, I got a call from the school that our oldest, Gwyn, was throwing up. So, I picked both her and Cal, our middle child, up and sure enough, both were sick that evening.

My husband and I just stared at each other in disbelief as each of us tended to a child. We divided and conquered and that plan seemed to work well.

Thankfully, their episodes ended once they went to bed.

And that’s when mine started.

All of Monday night and Tuesday morning I spent on the bathroom floor with my abdominals seizing from being worked so fiercely. And to add even more pain to the punch, I had to proactively try not to pee my pants with every heave, failing miserably…. twice.

Let me paint you a picture:

I am legally blind without my contacts or glasses, so that night as I was sprawled out on the bathroom floor trying to receive comfort from its cool touch, I laid in pain with an open head-wound as I repeatedly army-crawled over to the toilet just in time to blindly shoot missiles at it while kneeling in pee-soaked shorts.

It was like ‘Nam in there.

The next morning, the kids were feeling fine again, but because it hadn’t been 24 hours since they last threw up, I kept them home.

That means three kids were home with me that day, all who were feeling normal and full-of-energy while I was trying my best to keep them alive with a bare-minimal effort. It was mom-Hell.

It was that day that I realized I just need to let some things go. That I can’t always do everything I want to.  That sometimes, it’s just not worth it.

So the next day when I was feeling better, I went to the local grocery store bakery down the street with my cake designs and I handed them over.

My son is going to be two. He is going to be happy to have a cake. Any cake. And if it takes one thing off my plate so that we can recoup from this stint of madness, then I think it’s worthwhile. And it was only $14.99. Fourteen freaking ninety-nine. I couldn’t make the cake myself for that price.

And I then confirmed that his party would be at a local pizza joint down the street with a ball pit and ticket games and that all craftiness and creativity was out the window. He would be surrounded by his family with love, food I didn’t have to make, fun I didn’t have to think up, and memories that would only last a couple of hours.

It was suddenly sounding absolutely perfect.

And I think this mantra goes with anything, not just when the extreme cases of madness happen.

Sometimes I feel like we want to do all the things. We want to prepare all the food, make all the costumes, come up with the creative whatever it may be’s…

This mom-life is hard. This life is hard in general.

Sometimes, it’s okay to realize that by doing all the things, it actually may be more hurtful than helpful. That it’s okay to let go of some of these things. Or, all of them! Just, hand it over. By doing so, it most likely will allow you more time. Which will most likely allow you more sanity.

Go ahead, order the cake. Buy the costume from Costco. Pick up dinner from the deli. Agree to the help from your neighbor.

I think your family or loved ones will be equally as happy. And I think you will be, too.


P.S.- I’ve never been happier to send my kids back to school…


  1. I love this!! This is Mom life and your message hits home for many women. Thank you for speaking out about this..

  2. Oh no, poor you – and your head too! I’m glad everyone in the house is feeling better. And I LOVE this post. It’s true that sometimes you just have to hand over a responsibility or task, even if you really wanted to do it!


  3. Oh girl! I am so happy you are all feeling better, that sounds pretty horrible! I’m not a mom, but I am recovering from mono (which everyone likes to point out I’m a bit old to get, but I did so there’s that) and I’ve definitely had those moments where I just have to hand it over. Accept the help, accept the need to just lay on the couch, accept the ease of buying canned soup instead of making my own, etc. It’s not always a fun lesson to learn but it’s a big one!

  4. It’s ok for life to not be pinterest perfect all the time. In the long run, the child will not remember that you ordered the cake instead of making it yourself, just the fact that you took the time to have him a party.

  5. Its freaking Nam in here…haha, love it. Sorry that it was a barf, stomach flu disaster in your house with random head injuring projectiles.

    Sometimes life throws you tons of crazy curve balls and you have to let go of your original plans. Plus growing up in a very poor family I learned that kids dont care about price or sentiment…then end up cherishing the fun and love that you provide, no matter how you provide it.

  6. You poor thing!!!! That sounds like total madness. I’m glad you made it through and the kids won’t even notice — they’ll just be having a good time.

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