Sadly, I’m Not Alone

I want to give a huge thank you for the overwhelmingly positive, uplifting and emotional response I received to my POST a couple of weeks ago on my experience with sexual abuse.

I feel weird calling it sexual abuse because at the time, I didn’t see it as such being I was able to get away before anything serious had happened. But after researching the topic a bit, I have concluded that yes, what that man did to me was indeed sexual abuse being I was a minor.

What you were able to see in response to my post were the empowering comments left on my blog post, Instagram account, and Facebook page. But what you were not able to see were the private messages, texts, and phone calls I received.

The messages letting me know that I am not alone in what had happened to me.

That I am so sadly not alone.

One girl, repeatedly raped by one of her coaches and threatened into silence.

Another, molested by an intoxicated athlete in college.

And another, abused and shamed into keeping silent by someone she trusted.

Others, spoken to inappropriately by teachers, coaches, and figures of authority.

While I was on an empowering high once I made my post public, once the messages started pouring in I was also on a very constant emotional low.

I cried throughout the next few days as some of you reached out with similar stories; some of which were incredibly horrid.

It is hard for me to fathom that this sort of thing is happening more than I had ever realized, but the commonality of it all is that these predators went on living their lives as if they were normal human beings. As if what they had done was okay. As if they weren’t complete and utterly disgusting pieces of shit.

And they were able to do this by intimidation and threats.

Somehow they had manipulated us into keeping quiet. Humiliated us. Made us fearful.

My friends, I am so very sorry that this has happened to you. I am sorry that you now have to think twice about being alone with another human being. That you have to even question another’s intentions. I am sorry you were hurt.

There is something relieving when sharing such a personal story, and I thank you for sharing yours with me. Hopefully, if anything, it lets you know that you are not alone. And that others, too, have fallen victim and have felt and are feeling the same things you are. And that it is not. your. fault.

More than ever, I want my message to be heard.

If something ever seems off, speak up.

If someone is acting inappropriately with you, speak up.

If someone ever touches you when they shouldn’t be, speak up.

Don’t hesitate, just speak up.

Because if we don’t, then they win. And you will continue on feeling the shame and embarrassment you don’t deserve to be feeling.

The sooner you do speak up, the sooner it will stop. And if that is too late, at least it may prevent it from happening again in the future.

It may even save someone else.

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(If this resonates with you, please share. )

 

Comments

  1. I’m so sorry you went through this, but your bravery in speaking up is helping others. My heart goes out to you and those who have suffered through this.

  2. Thank you so much for posting this. While I haven’t experienced anything like this personally, my heart has broken over and over again for friends and family members that have been abused sexually. It’s important to speak up for the people who can’t or won’t.

    • Thank YOU so much for your response! It is absolutely heartbreaking, and I am so saddened the more I learn of this horrible thing happening.

  3. Sexual abuse is definitely more common than we would like to think. Most women and some men have experienced it in the past, but few speak out. Thanks for sharing your story. You’re right, the more we talk about it, the less culprits will think they can get away with it!
    Tori
    http://www.themamanurse.com

  4. Michelle says:

    Sex abuse is very common. And being a woman who has lived in crisis center before, I can conclude that, most women suffer in silence. I am most happy to read/hear such stories, as they encourage other women to speak up about their situations. I am sorry you went through such a hard time. I am also happy that you sharing your story. I send you big hugs and hope you keep staying strong.

    Michelle

    • Suffering in silence can be so hurtful and damaging. Telling SOMEONE can help; I wish more would speak out!

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