We are almost to the end, ladies! Way to stick with me through this! Here we go! Last recap before the FINALE!
There are three girls left, Becca, Mileymouth and Whitbird and they are now in Bali.
And let me just stop RIGHT HERE. As we watch Chris reflect he says, “If I am going to feel confident getting on one knee and proposing to someone, I am going to want to know the intimacy aspect of it could potentially be there.”
Wait, What?! Did he just say what I think he said?
Chris gets time with Mileymouth first and she does what is expected when she greets Chris. The full-on jump and greet. Except what isn’t expected is the bum-shot we see while she’s up there. It almost looks painful…
They explore some sacred grounds, walk with baskets on their heads and do some meditating. Nothing too entertaining. Isn’t that sad? Like actually doing it would be amazing. But watching people do it on The Bachelor is not entertaining when you’re waiting for something jucier to happen.
The date goes on and before we know it a giant monkey mounts itself onto Chris’ shoulders and if this had been me I would have been doing a stop, drop and roll to get that thing OFF. Terrifying!
It is during this scene that I notice two things. Mileymouth’s hair, which is not taking well to the humidity. And Chris’ sweaty pits. His SUPER sweaty pits. And this in turn makes me think two things.
1. Why doesn’t he wear clothing that would be more sweat resistant? Hasn’t someone come up with a way to prevent this yet?
2. If I were in Bali my hair would be like
Fast-forward to the evening portion of the date and Mileymouth tells Chris that she has super strong feelings for him and blah blah blah. He presents her with the overnight date card and she doesn’t even skip a beat in agreeing to it.
And their room is set up to be naked in. I mean there is a bathtub FULL of roses. And maybe I have been a little naive here, but I kind-of thought that maybe sometimes they just stay up and talk? Like with their clothes… on?
Mileymouth sits Chris down on the bed and tells Chris that she is falling in love with him.
And then Chris says, “You know I am falling in love with you as well.” (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
WHAT THE WHAT?!?!?!?!
Is that allowed! Hey! That’s not allowed! I have never heard the bachelor/bachelorette profess their love at this point on the show.
I mean technically he said, “I am falling in love with you, too” and not “I am IN love with you,” but still!
Fast-forward to Whitbird’s date and she too does the jump and greet. And I am just waiting for it to look awkward because she is a fellow tall girl and wait… wait a minute! She doesn’t look gargantuan up there!
Dang. I’ve got some work to do.
Oh wait. WAIT. I just looked it up. She’s 5’7″. Now it makes sense. I’d like to see a fellow 5’10” gal do that and look graceful!
For their date they… wait for it. I know you are going to be mind-blown.
They do something killer. Stunning, really. Never been done!
They go on sailing on a yacht, lay on a blanket surrounded by a picnic, make-out like crazy and to top it off, jump off the side of the boat!#simplyshocking!
Fast-forward to the evening portion of the date and Chris asks Whitbird about her career and living in Arlington. He tries to paint the picture by explaining that if you want to do something in Arlington… you can’t. You go elsewhere. Entertainment, career. Everything. #RUUUUUUUUUUN!!!
And she tells him that she has worked so hard to get where she is, BUT, all she wants to do it to be a wife and a mom. And that if she moves to Arlington she would give it up and want to start having babies. She then tells him that when he was in her home-town she obtained some of his specimen and that she’s already pregnant so that he can just skip the other two girls and take her now.
Kidding. But basically, she is saying exactly what he wants to hear.
And in return, he invites her into the love shack.
And he said he agrees and is looking forward to taking things to the next level.
They too have a bath drawn with bubbles and rose petals and I wonder, at what point to they draw this bath. Is it cold? Don’t you think it’ll be cold by the time they potentially use it? I also notice there aren’t nearly as many rose petals in her tub and I wonder if she’s watching now super jealous.
Fast-forward to Becca’s date and she does NOT do the jump and greet and I sigh a breath of relief.
They explore Bali, similarly to Mileymouth, and I play out a scene in my head as I am watching them do the same things as his previous date with Mouth. Like what if he’s on a date with Becca and starts to talk about something he did with Mileymouth, forgetting which thing he did with which girl…
“Oh, wait…. sorry. I did that on my LAST date with my OTHER girlfriend. Sorry! But I like you too! Swearsies!” #soawkward.
What is even more awkward, though, is while talking with some older spiritual locals, Becca asks what advice they give them for their date that night and they said, “making love.”
And to Becca, the virgin, this is super awkward as Chris does his signature laugh, agreeing with the locals.
Fast-forward to the evening and Becca tells Chris that she would have to be really really sure about where they stood before she would move to Arlington. The convo continues and she tells him that she is falling in love with him, which he reciprocates… And all I can think about is the poor girl who he ends up with that is watching this go down.
He has now told THREE women that he is falling in love with them. THREE. Within like 72 hours. Would you not be upset by this? And he has ALSO said to three women that he wants to take it to the next level!
Well Becca accepts the invitation, and to the camera Chris tells us how he is so excited to get to know Becca on an intimate level. A level he has not been allowed to at this point yet.
And man! I have just never seen someone so open about it!
Right after this is when Becca tells Chris she has something big to tell him. And she is Nervous Nancy. When she finally spits out that she is a virgin, Chris sighs a HEAVY sigh.. almost as if he has been defeated. I mean if I were Chris’s mother this is where I would be yelling at the TV, “CHRISTOPHER JOHN!”
I have no idea what his middle name is but it sounds right.
And after a long pause he follows up with that he respects that in a lot of ways…. except the one way that affects him tonight. No, no, he didn’t say that. But that’s what it seemed like!
Fast-forward to the morning, And Chris is telling the camera that he is more confused than ever about Becca. That he is “terrified.”
From what I gather, because Becca didn’t say that she will move to Arlington right away, he isn’t sure about where she stands.
Chris then cries.
He cries. To the camera. Because he wants all three of his girlfriends to meet his family. And he can’t. #awwwwwwbooooohoooooo
Fast-forward to the rose-ceremony and before he calls anyone’s name he asks to speak to Becca. And usually when this happens, girlfriend be going home.
They sit down to talk, and Becca says she hasn’t been able to sleep after the way they left things. She then goes on to say how much she cares for him and basically says anything she can to save herself.
Fast-forward back to the other two girls and Mileymoth is talking to Whitbird about how she thinks he is sending her home. And how this makes her excited because that means she is going on to the next step. She even says she is happy.
But then…. dun dun dunnnnnn…. Chris walks in with Becca and Mileymouth immediately takes her foot out of her mouth.
Becca walks back to the lineup, and the ceremony continues.
The first rose given out, is to Whitbird.
And the last one is given to……………………………………….Becca.
The Mouth is going home. And she is flabbergasted.
He asks to walk her out, in which she agrees.
She asks him what happened and he says, “nothing happened” and that he’s not even sure he made the right decision. And that this is all excruciating for him. #thanksfortheclosure
He then tells her HE is scared. #thisiswhereI’dtellhimtoshutit
She cries, says nothing, and he walks her to the goodbyevan.
Once inside she says this is the most humiliating moment of her entire life. And that this blows her mind. And then we watch her cry in the van, which is always slightly weird.
OKAY! WOW! So tonight is the Women Tell All episode and then the following week is the finale! Who is it going to be? Whitney or Becca?
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