This episode starts out with Chris pulling All Brains, No beauty Megan aside and telling her he doesn’t see a future. And she immediately goes home.
BAM! Just like that.
Chris Harrison then tells the girls that they will still be having a rose ceremony tonight even though three girls have already gone home this week (Crazy Kelsey, Ashley from the Block and now All Brains, No beauty Megan.)
This shocks the girls, but totally freaks out Carly. I think she knows she isn’t high on the list.
Fast-forward to the first one-on-one and it is given to Touche Jade. Britt can’t handle this since it’s in his hometown and she will get to see what life is like. #greedygreedy
On the date, Touche Jade gets the tour of Chris’ house, farm, and town. And it takes them all of maybe two minutes to see EVERYTHING.
Which is frightening. Everything is shut down, abandoned and gloomy. It’s a total ghost town. And you can see the concern on Touche Jade’s face. #cricket.
What would one DO here? Can you even imagine moving here after living in a city? No restaurants. No coffee shops. NO shopping. No movie theaters. I don’e even see an open grocery store. This is concerning to me.
The highlight was meeting Chris’ cows, to give you a better picture. Maybe she could learn to make cheese?
Chris then takes Touche Jade to his high school and THIS is where the whole town is, including his parents, which she meets. And Touche Jade says, “I LOVE IT! when asked about the town, which is a total lie. She totally does NOT love it at this point. #amIright?
They then tour his old high school and this is when Touche Jade reveals to Chris that she was a little bit of a rebel in the past. And from the previews we know that Jade did some nude modeling for Playboy, and truth- I looked it up. And you guys, I will spare you. It is NUDE!
I will spare you a mental image. But she doesn’t hold anything back.
WHO would want their wife to have nude pics out there like that? And I am calling it now, this is going to be a big deal when Chris finds out. He is not the kind of guy to be turned on by this. You know, because I know him so well and all.
Chris leaves this date feeling pretty damn good, so much so that he gives the greatest air fist pump I have EVER seen.
And I note, my husband has NEVER given such a fist pump after a date with me. #feelingslighted
Fast-forward to the next one-on-one date and it is with Whitbird. And they are using a nice camera and going around the town and taking photos of their “Love story” which I think would be pretty fun. But I love pictures. And exploring. So it seems fun.
Fast-forward back to the house and the girls decide to take a road-trip to Arlington to check it out themselves. They drive the three hours and then once they arrive, it takes about ten seconds to get through it and they are flabbergasted. #wtfwasthat?
And I do not even blame them! When The Hubby and I first got married, we moved from a big city to a small town. But it at least had restaurants, coffee shops a movie theater, etc. and it was still really hard for me that first year. UNTIL, I met some of my closest friends.
But to move to a town that has nothing? Oye.
They walk around only to find that everything is closed… the library. The bank. The grocery store.
There IS a church, though, and Carly looks inside and sees a framed photo of Jesus on the wall, the same one that her grandparents had growing up. And to her, this is a sign. But I also notice her outfit during this scene, too… and no. The one-piece jean jumper thing is not working for her.
Fast-forward back to the date with Whitbird and they go to a bar in Des Moines and are approached by three dudes They’re Chris’ best friends and this is where she turns on her A-Game. Naturally.
She blows it out of the water with them and this really impresses Chris.
He then takes Whitbird outside and shows her a mural that was painted based off one of their photos taken that day and she is beyond herself. And seeing her reaction, yeah. I totally have tears. She is so happy. Awww. She even says this is the moment she has fallen in love with Chris. #trueloveheartheartheart
Fast-forward back to the house and Touche Jade tells Carly about her little secret and she is not sympathetic at all. In fact, I think she wants to go tell Chris herself.
Fast-forward to the group date and Mileymouth, Britt and Carly are going ice-skating with Chris. Britt is the first one with some one-on-one time with Chris and she tells him that they went to his town and that she LOVED it. And she is so convincing. And this makes him SO happy. #becauseyouknow,thesunset
Knowing what is going down, Carly gets some time with him next and she can’t take it anymore. And she breaks the NUMBER ONE CARDINAL RULE and talks to Chris about it.
She tells him exactly what Britt said about Arlington and his face is concerned and he thanks her for telling him. But, just wait, I tell ya! It won’t do her any good!
On the evening portion of the group date Chris decides to dig deeper with Britt and try to find out if she is telling the truth about it.
Well, she does a great job of pulling herself out of that one by telling Chris that she wants him to meet her family and before we know it, they are locking lips.
Mileymouth then has some alone time with Chris, and she confesses her insecurities to him and shows a sensitive side. To make her feel confident, Chris decides to give her the group-date rose. #smartgirl #rightbeforehometowns
And this sends Britt over the edge.
She confronts Chris about it digs herself into a hole. A deep, deep hole. And she keeps digging deeper, and deeper, and deeper. She basically tells him it was effed up to give Mileymouth the rose after she just told him she wants to be his wife and for him to meet her family. #anditbeawkwardupinheeya
And Chris says that he did what he thought was best and that he had a great day with them all and pretty much got up and left, not impressed with Britt’s actions.
Back at the house, Carly and Mleymouth tell the other girls what Britt did and they are just thrilled with her performance and say that she is screwed. SCREWED. #byebyeBritt
End of scene.
WHEW!!! See you soon for the hometown date recap!