Riding on my Big Green Tractor-Bachelorette Recap 8

It’s hometown dates week! This is probably one of my favorite episodes of the whole season. So here we go!

Andi starts out in Nick’s hometown of Chicago and they meet in a market before walking over to a brewery where they take a tour.

At first I think this is a lame hometown date but then he pulls out a cute little stop by pouring her a beer from the “Nick & Andi The Perfect Brew”  spout which yeah, would make me smile.


They then dance to polka?

Because people do that?

It just looks like they’re trying not to burn their feet on hot coals.

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They then meet Nick’s family and holy crap! There are a bajillion of them! 10 siblings! And they’re all firing questions at Andi and she admits to being overwhelmed. Then the little sister who is about 10 years old pulls out a list of questions she has prepared and it’s pretty adorable, including “Do you truly love my brother?” and Andi replies with ” I think your brother is amazing and he makes me super, super happy… in the very end I could definitely see a future with your brother.”

Little Sister takes that as “She loves him” or “maybe it was like?”

She don’t know, She’s 10.

Andi is then quizzed on all the people on the ginormous wall o’ pictures and she nails it.

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She remembered all 10 siblings’ names! How is that possible?!

They must have whispered them into her ear.

The next hometown goes to Chris the Friend Zone Farmer and Andi visits him in Arlington, Iowa.

He first shows her his house and she is like “Daaaaaaayum. Man owns a house! That’s hotttt!” Because all of the other dudes she dated in the past must have been losers.

Then she says “Shut up” about 32 times before riding on his big green tractor.

Isn’t that a song?

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She is super impressed by watching him drive the manly tractor and when it’s her turn she asks to ride on his lap.

And of course he didn’t say no.

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Because a jostling tractor and a woman on the lap can mean nothing but a good time.

I mean….

They picnic in the field and she questions what on earth she would do for work in a little farm town and he replies with “There’s an opportunity to be a homemaker…” and she does the polite giggle while swallowing the vomit.

He then pulls a super cute and points her attention to a plane flying overhead that says “Chris Loves Andi” and she EATS that business right up.

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She then meets his family, which includes three sisters, and one of them informs Andi that he would never offer up the info, but that he is very successful and I know that raises an eyebrow.

The mom is all over Andi practically wanting to adopt the girl and she gets along fine with everyone else and they end the night by playing a hide-and-seek type game in the dark which Andi seems to love.

The next hometown is with Josh Cubin and he, of course, takes her to the baseball field. And I can’t help but eye Andi’s shorts. Because they are SHORTs. Like… I hope to baby Jesus that she got waxed before this date.

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Josh Cubin talks about how hard it s for him to be at the field and that he hasn’t been there for seven years and I wonder what the heck he’s been doing the last seven years?! His job ” former pro baseball player” was a loooooong time ago.

Red flag.

She then meets his family and awwww. We have a moment. As they’re saying hello to his family Cubin starts crying because he’s missed them so.

Like he literally pursed his lips an let a woman wipe his tears away.

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And as they’re sitting around the kitchen table I notice, minus a good spray, Andi looks like she belongs in this family. Like, not as a spouse. As a sibling.

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Did you notice that?

I’ve heard here and there that you tend to marry someone who you resemble.

Is this true for you?

I guess it could kindof be true for us?





Awwww… all the way back six years ago…

Anyway, Andi sits down to talk with Mama Cubin and Andi asks her how it will go down if Cubin marries and the cord is cut from this tight-knit family and the Mama Cubin states that the cord won’t be cut. That they’re just too close. The sister even tells Andi they’ll probably fight about it in the future if they end up together.

Andi sees a red flag.

As she should.

Cubin and his mama talk and she points out that he has put himself last for too long and he starts crying.

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And I “Awwww” a little bit. My thoughts might be changing about Cubin  a little here.

I said might.

Last up is Marcus and she meets him in Dallas.

He takes her to a creepy red and black club, pours her some champagne and  recreates the strip-tease dance he did way back when during a group date and I couldn’t think of anything lamer to do. And for goodness sakes, your mother is watching!

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Andi then meets his family and the first thing I notice is how much his sister reminds of of Stiffler’s mom in American Pie.

Am I wrong?

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Marcus sits down with his brother, professes his love for Andi and then cries like a baby as he thanks his brother for stepping up as the father-figure when his family fell apart.

The whole family encounter is kind-of solemn and it just seems like their past is a  little haunting.

Fast-forward to Chris Harrison’s house and the four remaining contestants meet Andi there. This isn’t normally something that happens so we know something is up.

They sit them all down and tell them that Eric Hill, one of the former contestants, was in an accident and passed away. And to make them all feel even more awkward they film their reactions.

Fast-forward to the rose ceremony and the memories of Eric haunt Andi and she walks away from the ceremony crying.

After pulling herself together she hands out the roses and ultimately sends home Marcus. Which, seemed fitting.

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I am now rooting for Christ the Friend Zone Farmer.

He just seems like the most genuine one left and an all-around good guy.

Though I am not sure she will choose him.

Who is your front runner?

Thanks for stopping by!


  1. Tina Sperry says:

    Hilarious! I can’t stop laughing! Keep ’em coming!

  2. Johanna Fieldman says:

    Bahaha! She DOES look like Stiffler’s mom!

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