We start this episode with Chris Harrison giving out the first one-on-one date card. As the camera is being flashed from man to man as they wait in anticipation, I notice one of the guys has a black eye. What is happening behind the scenes that isn’t being shown?!
24 hour footage, here, People!
Eric the Explorer is the one to receive the date.
She takes Eric the Explorer to the beach where they frolic, build sand castles, fly kites, and do flips in the sand. Andi rocks her first ever seen-on-tv bikini and she looks hot.
And this is where it is made evident Andi’s “thing” is the word “Stop.” But it’s like “Stooooooooooop.”
If you haven’t noticed before, you will start noticing it now.
She then has a HUGE surprise for Eric the Explorer and dun, dun, dun…… they hop in a helicopter and fly around until landing on a snow-covered mountain. For the adventurous type, such as Eric the Ecplore, this IS a pretty cool date.
They get snowboarding lessons from a professional and it is clear this is not Eric the Exporer’s first go-around, but Andi stinks a little bit.
Okay, a lot. But, it IS only her second time. They’re actually cute together in that Eric the Explorer holds her hands down the mountain, giving her that “trust” she is looking for.
That night, Andi and Eric the Explorer cozy up in a cabin and have a good conversation about his previous adventures and how those would fit into a future family, and he gives all the right answers. He even says he is ready for marriage and wants kids. Andi continually talks about how he isn’t bad at anything and she is just into this guy. Which, is incredibly sad. Ultimately, she gives Eric the Explorer the rose and he stays around.
Fast-forward back to the mansion and the group date card reads ” Let’s bare our souls” which means these boys are gettign nekkid. Some seem horrified, and some seem okay with the idea.
The group of guys pulls up to a male striptease show and are informed that they will be performing like the professionals, for charity. Because once it is for charity, it’s totally acceptable and can be shown on ABC. The family channel.
Most of the men are performing in groups, but two of them have solos and I just couldn’t imagine anything more terrifying. A solo striptease in front of a live audience, including the girl whose heart you are trying to win?
Then there are goons like Craig who say he would basically be down with this profession if he made a lot of money and Kiss My Muscles Cody who is just flexing away getting all jazzed up.
After some practicing, it’s show time and the men actually do very well. They are somewhat in sync, they seem to be into it and the hip thrusts are flowing rapidly.
Nick S. is a stripping robot, and if I were him I wouldn’t be complaining! The most covered up costume and he’s complaining. Except then he takes it to the next level, actually, the top level, and bends over with his pants down, revealing an imagine no one wishes to see…. Ever. No matter how groomed one may be.
Side note- The Hubby and I were in Seattle a few days ago and I must say, robots are hot! So, Nick the Butt-Bearing Robot thoroughly messed this one up as he could have gone far with this.
Sharleen and Kelly from Juan Pablo’s season join Andi while watching this striptease and the whole thing is a little comical, and a whole lot embarrassing. Like I was blushing.
That night they have the more casual group date and the liquor is flowing abundantly, especially for one contestant.
Black-eyed Brian pulls Andi away and she talks about how he really impressed her up on that stage and how he is growing on her meter.
Josh Cubin, the baseball player, pulls Andi aside and asks her not to stereotype him as a typical athlete and that he has more to offer.
Fast-forward to the last one-on-one date card and Chris the Farmer is the one to receive it.
Fast-forward back to the group date and BraHHHHHdley serenades her once again and I would just politely ask for this to stop. Stoooooooooooooooop.
Meanwhile, Craig is plastered and is slurring his words, his eyes are squinty, he is super giggly, and his speech is elongated. Yet, he pulls Andi aside for some one-on-one time because that’s a good idea. Andi humors him and tells Craig that he can ask her whatever he wants, that she is an open book. So, he asks, “What is the worst thing about your parents?”
No matter how plastered I was I would never even think to ask such a question.
Andi is in shock and doesn’t answer. Obviously.
Craig the Drunk continues to be obnoxious jumping in the pool with his clothes on, yelling loudly and disrupting any conversations Andi is trying to pursue with the other men. The mood completely changes from from fun to serious and Andi gets pissed.
Andi starts to question why she is there and I think it is WAY too early for this to be happening.
Buckle, up, Andi. It’s episode 2. A LOT more is bound to happen from here on out.
Andi ultimately gets passed it and gives the group date rose to Marcus, the baby of the group, who she still has the hots for.
Fast-forward to the one-on-one date with Farmer Chris and they go to the horse races, which is AWESOME. This is something I have always wanted to do and they even dress the part. Except they don’t have hats and I would definitely have hats. Big ones. Chris wants to focus on showing Andi a good time since the night before was questionable and he just seems like a genuinely sweet, kind man.
They check out the horses, sip on some drinks, pick their bets and actually win! FUUUUN. They then talk to the sweetest old couple who have been together for 55 years and get some marriage advice from them and it’s just all so sweet.
That night they dig deeper into one another and we learn that Chris used to be engaged.
Somehow he doesn’t make it seem so. He said he was dating a girl for a long time in college and he was acting with his head instead of his heart. He knew it wasn’t right and then knew she wasn’t the one and broke it off.
Andi likes this answer and gives Chris the rose.
I like Chris. He seems sweet, genuine and like he really does want love. But… Andi seems like she needs a more adventurous type. Someone a little more out-going. Thus, I deem Chris to be Chris the Friend Zone Farmer.
She has one more surprise for Chris the Friend Zone Farmer and NO.
Just, no way.
I can’t believe it is happening…
She takes him……
Not in a helicopter…
But to a private concert out back by a band we’ve never heard of!!!!
Did you guess?
There’s just no way that you did because it was totally unexpected.
But what IS a little unexpected is that Chris the Friend Zone Farmer wins the prize for the first kiss! Alright… so Chris the Possibly Friend Zone Farmer it is…
Fast-forward back to the mansion for the rose ceremony and Andi walks in wearing a SMOKIN’ dress. I mean, the girl looks hot.
And Josh Cubin’s eyes go straight down… Oh! And so do Craig the Drunk’s.
But really, who cam blame them?
Nick V, who got the first impression rose but didn’t get a date all week, set up a little pretend one-on-one and they go deep into conversation about what they each want in a relationship. They both agree on what they want. They don’t want “good” but instead “great.
Yeah…… so does the rest of America.
Marquel talks to Andi next and I am blown away by his outfit. He is wearing a checkered shirt, hawaiian-print tie and striped socks. And I can’t hear a word they say because all I can focus on is his outfit. And he even stated how much he was trying to look good for her..
Josh Cubin then talks to Andi and he can’t stop giggling. He’s not making sense, he’s rambling, and claims Andi is making him incredibly nervous. Which… hmm… okay MAYBE he is genuine?
And then they kiss. Hmmm…. okay, nevermind.
Craig the Drunk has been waiting two days to apologize to Andi and when he finally gets the chance he nervously sings her a pretty bad apology song, which is actually kindof endearing, but I see him as the party type anyways and if it were up to me, he gone!
Fast-forward to the rose ceremony and it’s pretty uneventful except for maybe an eye-roll or two, and she ends up sending home Nick the Butt-Bearing Robot (duh), Craig the Drunk (duh) and Carl the firefighter, which the last one surprises me!
Anyway, this week there are supposed to be TWO full episodes and that makes me sweat. The first one airs on Sunday, so don’t forget!
Have a great week and thanks for stopping by!