On Things I Thought I’d Never Experience

(Read with caution…)

I never thought I’d let someone look at my poo.

Gwyn is in the process of becoming interested in using the potty and what people do while going to the bathroom.

Well, yesterday I needed some private time but Gwyn asked to go with me, and because I am trying to encourage how cool it is to poop in the toilet and not have someone wiping your ass all the time, I let her come in with me.

I apologize for the mental image I’m about to paint, but if you’re a parent I’m sure you’ve dealt with similar instances and if you’re not a parent, well maybe you should read on and reevaluate if this is the right thing for you.

As I grab for the toilet paper Gwyn asks, “Can I see, Mommy?”

“………………….You want to see my poop?”

“Yeah!!!”

“…….Uhhhhhhhh……………okay…..”

And as I lean forward to finish up, thinking she would have her viewing afterward, there stood my toddler about two inches from my ass, examining the situation. She didnt just peek over my shoulder. Girlfriend got all up in there, so much so that she even pushed me forward to get a better view.

“Oh!!! Good job, Mommy!!! You did it!!!”

“Yeah….. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay for me……”

I never, ever thought I’d let someone so close during my personal business time, but I guess if it helps, it helps. I guess…..

Oh! And you know what else I never thought I’d experience in my lifetime? AND in the same day!?

Seeing a fart coming out of someone’s butt hole.

Do you have any idea how sickening that is???

Since Gwyn no longer has a changing table in her room, I change her on a mat on the floor with her laying vertically in front of me. As I was changing Gwyn’s diaper before nap yesterday, I had her legs held up by her head and she let one loose.

Right. In. My. Face.

Now, her legs are rather long and with my one arm around her ankles, my face usually ends up rather close to her bum.

I saw the human body doing it’s thing so up close and personal I almost vomited. It was almost like it was in slow motion. The contracting of the…..

Oh gag.

And you know what she did?

She laughed.

Even more reason to encourage using the potty. I hope to never see that ever again.

The end.

Hope you weren’t eating anything.

Happy Bachelor Night!!!

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