Mommy’s Outhouse Time Outs

Sometimes, when I need a break from my kids and my husband is home, I hide.

I can’t hide just anywhere though, because once they notice I am missing two minutes later, the hunt is on.

The one place I have found to receive true, uninterrupted privacy and alone time…. is in the bathroom.

What this means is I would rather have my husband think I am taking a huge poo just to grab a few minutes to myself. Sometimes it’s longer, like ten minutes. But am I sought after? No. Do people come looking for Mommy asking for things? No. Everyone knows where Mommy is and she is left alone.

If I “hide” somewhere else…. they find me. But in the bathroom, the door can be locked and is expected to stay locked until “done.”

On one particular day last week, I took one of my Mommy Time Outs and it turned into a bit of a longer time-out than originally intended.

There I sat, on the ledge of the bathtub, reading my favorite blogs from my phone, looking on Facebook and Instagram, texting a few of my favorite peeps and just savoring the silence.

After about ten minutes (I’m guessing?) I started to hear The Hubby and Gwyn yell to me from the living room.

Hubby: “Are you okay, Love? Did you fall in?”
Gwyn: “Momma fall in?”
Hubby: “Yeah. Momma got her bum wet.”
Gwyn: “Bum wet, Momma!? You okay, Momma!? Fall in, Momma!? Two marsmallows!?!?” (If you missed the marshmallow post, you can catch up here.)

I couldn’t help but chuckle the whole time, but did that make me come out?

Uhhhh, no.

I stayed another five or so minutes and then gave the aerosol can a little spray for sound effect before making my exit.

The Hubby always gives me the weird bulging side-eye when exiting the bathroom, you know, because us girls never poop, and this time was no exception. Though the look did have a bit of concern in it since it was a rather long “time out” this time.

I just went about my business, though, feeling refreshed and re-energized, and The Hubby never knew a thing!

Seriously, it helps. You need to try it if you just need a few minutes to breathe without being asked for something every 3.75 seconds.

It’s wonderful and really takes a load off. No pun intended. Okay, it was.

Happy Monday!

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