Throat Chopping Crackheads Who Give Children Candy

What STRANGER gives a TWO-year old CANDY at the post office!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?

I had to run to the post office last minute yesterday to over-night a package for The Hubby. Because it was dreadfully hot, I put Gwyn in a nighty dress to stay cool while in the house, so as we were rushing out the door I slapped a pair of shorts on that girl, tucked in the nighty and called it good.

I, still in a pair of gym shorts and old t-shirt with a ratty ponytail, decided “oh well” and put the kiddos in the car and off we went. I had thirty minutes to get the package there and didn’t want to chance it.

I addressed the package while waiting in line with Gwyn standing a couple of feet behind me. As my turn approached, I began to walk to the counter and noticed Gwyn wasn’t following me. I looked over and noticed the stranger behind me staring while Gwyn walked up to me with an awkwardly mischevious smile on her face.

I looked in her hands and she was holding an unidentifiable piece of candy. My guess is that it was a Mamba, which is a big chewy piece of candy. Something my two year old cannot chew through, therefore also making it a choking hazard. Not that I’d ever let her eat ANYTHING from a stranger!

Besides at Halloween….. I suppose…. But that’s beside the point!

So of course I took the candy away as she was unwrapping it, causing a huge meltdown.

“Me have it! Me have it, please! Me have iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittt….”

And of course Cal had to chime in too, screaming in my ear.

Boy, were we a sight.

Toddler scream-crying while pulling at my shirt trying to get the candy from my hand, Cal screaming from his carseat as I try swinging him back and forth, all while trying to fill out a form and answer the post office man’s questions.

I didn’t hear a dang word he said.

And by the time we left, a long line had formed behind us, all watching our spectacle.

Thanfully everyone settled down on the car ride home… but if given the chance, I think I would like to throat chop that crackhead stranger lady.

Thanks for making my day super duper!


  1. throat chop, hahahaha!!!!

Speak Your Mind