Baby On Board

I need a “Baby on Board” sign in my car.

Except, I need it for the opposite reason most people have them in their cars.

People who normally have one of those are saying to other drivers, “The reason I am going ridiculously slow and driving exceptionally carefully is because I am a first-time parent and need a sticker in my window so that I don’t get flipped off as people pass me.”

Because who would flip off a parent driving carefully with kids in the car?

But like I said before, I need one of these in my own car. Except I need one saying something to people who are going under the speed limit like, “Get the heck out of my way! I have a screaming baby in my car that only seems to escalate with each additional passing second, which is why I am now going (just a little!) faster than the speed limit and flipping you off as I’m cursing at you in my head with my blood pressure on full blast as I finally pass you.”

Because who would get mad at someone passing them with a screaming baby in the car?

Maybe there should be special flashers on the cars that contain infants…

I can only dislocate my arm trying to find the binky in the carseat behind me for so long, and if you’re wondering why the brakes are being pumped as a red light approaches… it’s because the car must. not. ever. stop. Constant movement or else all hell breaks loose.

Again, I think the “Baby on Board” sign would explain this to fellow drivers who see the constant wear and tear being put on the car brakes.

So if you suddenly see one of these in my car, get outta my way!!!

Happy Tuesday!!

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