Time Out

(Composed last night)

Yep, Time Out.  But probably not for who you are thinking.

Right now, it’s for me.

Our Silly Monkey has been sick for just about a week, which meant staying home for the two of us. This is REAL hard to do with an active little toddler, so I typically take her somewhere at least once a day. Places may include the library, grocery store, Mommy Group, the mall, the cushy play area in the next town over, etc. So, staying home for a week has been difficult on us both.

I run a pretty tight ship around here and like things clean. So, I typically clean up toys several times a day and wash the dishes after each meal. Today…. today has been different.

My husband woke up sick as well.

Are you there, God? It’s me, Margaret.

So, we let him sleep in pretty late. When he did get up, he made himself breakfast, in which I cleaned up after. I mean, the poor guy is sick, give him a break, right?? Well, this has continued all day. I get it, I really do. Who likes to clean when they’re sick (not that we mamas get a pass)? So, I’ve been letting it slide. Until around 5:30, that is.

My husband has run amok in the kitchen, my daughter has torn up the living room, I am feeling a little sick myself and gosh darnit, I am tired! So, I put myself in Time Out. Basically, I have barricaded myself in our bedroom and am not coming out until our Silly Monkey goes to bed. Is this cruel? I don’t hear crying, (from either of them) so I think everything is okay out there. So far, I have been left alone. But, there is one problem.

It’s only been about 45 minutes and I am STARVING! Food is consuming my mind. Pretty soon I think my stomach is going to eat itself for nourishment. Or… GASP! My baby!

This sums up the thoughts in my mind:

I need to just hold out.  Don’t give in… I can make it until 7:00………………………………………………….

No, no I can’t! Who am I fooling!? I must do something.

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I MADE IT! I made it back alive! It took some careful planning, but I would call that mission (semi) successful. Here is how it all went down. I dimmed the light in our room, slowly turned the door knob to open the door, and peeked my head around the corner. Oye! The hubby and daughter were on the couch that can view into the kitchen. CRAP! So, I gently shut the door and reverted back to my seat. But, the pains, ohhhhh the hunger pains! I had to do something. Once again, I turned down the light, slowly opened the door, and noticed that I could see their reflections in the window. PERFECT! I waited for the right moment when my daughter went across the room to play with her toys, got down on my hands and knees and ever-so-softly crawled to the kitchen. Yep, I crawled.

Me, except add 7.5 months pregnant

I successfully made it to the fridge, still crouched down, and even opened the door without anyone noticing. Frantically scanning inside, I opened a drawer and on top I found the String Cheese. YAHTZEE! I knew my time was running out, so I tried ever-so quickly, yet quietly, to tear one of those babies off, but what I got instead was a magnified RRRIIIIIPPPPP!

BLAST! I blew it! That’s when the hubby said, “Hey Monkey, Mommy is out!” Forget the army crawl back to our room, I straight up did a tiptoe-high knee-long-jump and somehow managed to return safely…. String Cheese in hand! SCORE!

It is now 6:40 and I the hunger pangs are tied over, for the moment. Only 20 more minutes to go.
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Oh boy. Worst Mommy/Wife Award goes to…….. me. About 15 minutes later, my hubby comes in with our Monkey to give me a hug and a kiss goodnight. She has already had her milk, her teeth have been brushed, her jammies on, diaper changed, and she was ready for bed. With a snotty kiss on the mouth, and an “I love you” from Monkey, I start to feel REAL guilty for taking my Time Out. After the hubby puts her to bed, he brings in a String Cheese, as he knows that I love them, dims the light, puts a pillow under my legs “to take some of the pressure off,” covers me with a blanket, plants one on my cheek, and again exits the room.

ARGH! Guilt, guilt, guilt!

I was going to return to our room after eating and let the hubby clean up the disaster that engulfs our house, but after not a peep about my Time Out and that suave set of moves…. off I go (after I eat, obviously).

Or….. was that his plan????

😉 Hope you are all having a great three-day weekend. And if you need it, take a Time Out! Good things may come for everyone!

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